NotCliche

“If God wants you to live, then he wouldn’t have created me!” — The Soldier.

We’re halfway through the war, but the end is still nowhere in sight. The Demomen, however, seemingly galvanized by the promises of a huge sword and a wooden targe, is now catching up with the amount of causalities done to the Soldiers. With only a 100,000 kill gap in between them, the war is intensifying with every passing minute!

Calling the Demomen as the “most overpowered enemies of all time” (which is pretty damn true), Soldiers are bringing in a piece of artillery found nowhere else in the world. Calling it the “Direct Hit”, this particular Rocket Launcher will blow up those one-eyed, bomb loving, rum-chugging Demomen as quick as it’s precise!

This wonderful piece of equipment will not only travel 80% faster than the standard rockets, but will also deal 25% more damage! The only disadvantage: 70% reduced Area of Effect damage. Not an issue for a Soldier, because a Soldier is always precise! Always quick! Why? Because the Soldier has TWO EYES, but the Demoman only has ONE.

(for continuity’s sake, please ignore the fact that the helmet the soldier has is always covering both of his eyes.)

For real rocket sharpshooters, they have the added benefits of obtaining mini-critical when the enemy’s in mid-air! Talk about ka-boom!

In case you’re wondering if the scope on the weapon actually works… well, we don’t have a clue, really. But other than that, why don’t you land Direct Hit on a Demoman, today?

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